Saturday, January 28, 2012

Spring Time Is Tea Time

Ah yes, elections are approaching and the requisite slate of tea party candidates have come forth to run for elected office.

It's a far more common occurrence in the spring - which is kinda like spring training. Everyone gets a chance to try out.

Partisan elections that happen in the fall are far more beholden to local and statewide GOP and their farm team of candidates. They hand feed these guys in preparation for office. They keep these players in the minor leagues until the right opportunity comes along to move them up to the big leagues...well big leagues Racine County wise.

Van Wanggaard played B-ball as a county supervisor until they tested him out first on Cory Mason for a State Assembly seat. He proved not quite ripe, but political fortunes changed in 2010 with an unhappy electorate and a win (perhaps more narrow than they might have wished) over John Lehman.

They fortified that squeaker of a race with a shiny new gerrymandered Senate district which would elect Joe McCarthy if given the chance.

Jim Ladwig also did his time before getting his call to County Exectutive and behind him Tyson Fettes a nobody from nowhere but who popped some corn for the Dark Lord Vos and stocked shelves for GOP funders. Fettes got the nod to take Ladwig's old job and now waits his turn in line.

Robin Vos' ascent was basically the same. On and on this goes, like a corrupt and unattractive dynasty.

Now, spring elections are a bit different and less structured. The GOP likes their judges races - cause they know if anyone should wind up in some deep shit - they need them some friendly judges to help things go their way. Very effective.

When Dennis Barry took his life, the GOP had a dilemma. The guy who really wanted the job - D.A. Mike Nieskes was not exactly in good favor in spite of his years of loyal GOP service. but this is a farm system remember, and eventually the Gov gave Nieskes the brief appointment making him the incumbent on the ballot in April against Mike Piontek.

(There are more than a few people who believe Nieskes has been set-up in this race - a move straight out of the Godfather. Nieskes is begrudgingly given the job over preferred attorney - Tim Boyle, a high school friend of Robin Vos. Since Nieskes is a guy who gives possibly the worst first impression in the history of interpersonal communication and is hated so universally - they figure he'll lose and they've done their part. Tough break Mike - see ya around.)

Boyle rebounds back with a run against Racine judge, Mark Nielsen - a race the GOP thinks is competitive.

When it comes to Racine Common Council and the Racine Unified School Board - the D-listers get their chance to run for stuff that isn't a nuisance to the GOP action plan. Let the teabillies play!

Last year's Aldermanic race brought out a few low level tea party types - Casey Rouse comes to mind. He lost to stealth teabagger - Jim Morganroth. (Morganroth was handpicked by outgoing Alderman, Jim Spangenburg and so everyone thought he was a reasonable guy - he's not. Word is he is so completely unlikable it makes even the most tumultuous Common Council conflicts seem like a love affair.)

County Supervisor races don't get much attention one way or another after possible candidates attend one or two County meetings. With the added risk of losing health care benefits - who wants to take a chance on untreated depression or thoughts of suicide that come with the job?

The last option for D-listed Republican/teabaggers is the school board:

Former school board member and chain smoker, Brian Dey is running again. Dey left the school board to go and try to get Caledonia citizens to secede from the school district. He failed after residents found out how much it would cost them. It's a strange platform for Dey - I hated the district so much I left and unsuccessfully tried to start my own and now I'm back - Vote For Me!

Anyway, Dey is a member of Libertea and Racine Taxpayers Association...he's probably a member of the Racine Tea Party - but they don't have a public Facebook page anymore. No matter, he's a teabagger and if you want to know what he thinks about anything, check out Caledonia Patch. If he's not blogging, he's commenting...on everything...in very long paragraphs.

Kevin Cronin, is a board member for the Racine County Republican Party (he also belongs to the Libertea group proving teabillies and Republicans are really the same thing). Cronin is interestingly the Racine County complainant in the lawsuit to have recall elections take place in the new redistricted districts even though those people didn't vote for or recall the politicians they would get to vote on now...if you think about it, he might be perfect for the school board.

Cronin is hooked into the local GOP and has a great head of hair which the Siren has been told will be cut for "Locks of Love" which is nice. (We got many cross comments when we mentioned his hair before - which is how we know so much about his hair plans...however, long or short, it's still nicer than Vicky McKenna's stringy hair.)

Other candidates for school board are:

Roger Pfost, is running again this year even though he's really old and thinks kids shouldn't get to take cooking class (?) In his JT interview last year, Pfost claimed reading scores hadn't improved even though they had and has a problem with K-3 preschool even though it works quite nicely.

The Siren suspects a deep rooted, perhaps repressed trauma involving cooking at a very young age.

The most moderate candidate of the non-incumbent school board class is Scott Brownell - a Senior pastor at Assembly of God Church in Racine. His wife is an Unified Assistant Principal at Gilmore and they have three children. Elation ensued that a reasonable candidate had emerged until we discovered that Assembly of God Churches are Pentecostal churches who believe you have only been truly baptized when you begin to speak in tongues.

Even if he did speak in tongues, Brownell would still be the most qualified.