Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Wanggaard Concedes - Set To Join WWF

Okay, we know that Wanggaard's concession is big news, but we can't help but lead with the mustache. OMG.

The Siren can't quite decide if it's awful or awesome...but we're leaning towards awesome.

Sporting a full-on Hulk Hogan meets the Village People Fu Manchu mustache, Wanggaard met with Fox 6 News yesterday and even they thought the new look was...amazing.

This could be the signal of a whole new career for Wanny in the World Wrestling Federation. We're thinking  of a closeted bad cop character...

Okay, back to the concession.

Wanny ain't gonna sue. Big news. The smart money was on a lawsuit - but there you go. Apparently Van's flunky's couldn't dig up quite enough evidence of fraud and cheating no matter how hard they tried.

But for his effort Van will get to spend his free time avoiding eye contact with the citizens of the city who may have worked or voted in the polling places he accused of criminal negligence and abuse in a plot to steal the election from him.

He never proved a thing and a lot of people in Racine won't be forgetting it any time soon.

But let's talk about the press release...

There are sore winners and there a bad losers, Van's concession press release in the spectrum of whiney, teeny tiny violin indusing big baby balling rants is epic:
"The count of the ballots – those cast appropriately and those that may not have been - shows my opponent with more votes. I hope John Lehman learned the lesson of his defeat in 2010, and pursues a more job-friendly agenda in office. 
“As for me, I have spent my entire adult life in service to our community. The June election will not stop that dedication to service. I will be a candidate for the 21st Senate District at the next election. As General Douglas MacArthur once said, “I shall return.” 
Van's press release in its entirety should be committed to memory and acted out in grade schools in a readers theater style recitation using an Elmer Fudd voice as an educational example of what bad sportsmanship sounds like. 

Sayonara Van, we mourn you not.