Friday, August 17, 2012

Paul Ryan Finds His Flip Flops And Loses $5 Million

The people of Paul Ryan's congressional district know something the national media is just beginning to learn - Paul Ryan can't give a straight answer.

After fourteen years with no major media market in his district, Ryan has enjoyed a rarefied world in which almost none of the hypocritical and radical votes he has taken are presented to his constituents on a regular basis.

Instead, he floats through his district with ease, confident that his adoring geriatric listening session crowds know nearly nothing about him. Grandma and grandpa out in Eagle, WI don't get the New York Times or the Washington Post.

Oh, but the game has changed now that Paul has stuck his pencil-neck out with a bid for Vice President...and his privileged life with local bumpkin press and Fox news has not prepared him for a brand new experience - the Follow-Up Question.

Ryan couldn't see the road for the shit piles he stepped in yesterday. First questioned about his position on President Obama's stimulus plan; Ryan was clear in his opposition that it did not work.

The Follow-Up Question: So then why did you request stimulus funds?

Huh? "I didn't" Paul claimed...and then they produced four letters signed by him requesting stimulus funding for various efforts in SE Wisconsin. Now those of us in Ryan's district have known about this since it happened - which is why when he tried to say he didn't remember the letters we all laughed so hard we almost split our pants.

"Dad! make some popcorn, Paul Ryan is on the TV telling those same lies he tried on us!" We could watch that shit all day.

By the end of the day, Paulie found his flip flops and admitted he did write those letters, but it was not a request for stimulus funds - it was constituent services. Duh! Who else would stimulus funds be for - himself?

Sarah Palin couldn't have done a better job.

Then, Paul got into trouble over his financial disclosure forms in which it seems he "forgot" to add up to a $5 million trust his wife inherited. Pffft! Happens all the time.

The catch is he "forgot" for two years - it was only when he was vetted by Mitt Romney's staff that he retroactively amended his financial statements. In other words, when he was compelled to be honest.

Ryan also made another interesting retroactive change to his financial statement - previously he had stated that other trust money was a "blind trust" in which he had no control over. In his amendment he adjusted that to a non-excepted meaning he does have control over it.

It makes the Siren wonder about those interesting stock market transactions on the day he met with Hank Paulson all over again.

Then to end what was surely a really shitty day, Ryan had mentioned that he likes to listen to "Rage Against the Machine" on his Ipod. Which caused Rob Morello, Rage Against the Machine band leader to write an Op Ed in Rolling Stone magazine to say:
"Ryan claims that he likes Rage's sound, but not the lyrics. Well, I don't care for Paul Ryan's sound or his lyrics. He can like whatever bands he wants, but his guiding vision of shifting revenue more radically to the one percent is antithetical to the message of Rage."
Ouch! That's gonna leave a mark. How do you listen to a guy's band after he says that about you?

The love affair is over, Paul. All that PX90 did not train you for the one activity you are sadly out of shape for - giving a straight answer. Go get some popcorn - this is gonna get good.