Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Kiss It Reince - My President Is Black And My Senator Is A Lesbian

Oh! the womens. The womens voted yesterday and their message was clear:

Get out of my vagina jerkwad.

Goodbye Todd Akin, Dick Mourdock, Roger Rivard, Joe Walsh and to a very large extent, Paul Ryan.

Those architects of "legitimate rape" and zero exceptions for needed abortions did not get what they wanted last night.

The womens voted with their vaginas and the vajay-jays said NO.

Reince Priebus and the yapping yaws of the GOP tried to play off the rape issue and the no exceptions for abortion rule as a liberal red herring, muddying the waters and confusing those silly women away from the real issue: More tax breaks for millionaires.

Kiss it Reince, the women didn't buy it and it cost you the Senate and the White House. We hope it costs you your job too - Dude, you didn't even deliver your home state!

Tammy Baldwin is the newest Senator from Wisconsin. The first woman and the first openly gay Senator elected as well. The most liberal member of Congress sailed to victory over born-again teabilly, Tommy Thompson. If Tommy had just decided to maybe be himself instead of a tea party ball-licker - he might have won. Ted Nugent and the bananapants crowd cost him the Senate.

However, we imagine Thompson at home in his slippers this morning secretly relieved he didn't win. Don't you?

Rob Zerban handed Paul Ryan his consolation prize last night. In a steep uphill climb, Zerban gave Ryan his slimmest margin of victory in his 14 year career. We thank Rob Zerban for helping to ensure that folks will show up at Ryan listening sessions for the next two years with dirty pots and pans and dumbells.

That will be fun.

Bittersweet is too pretty of a word to describe what it must feel like to lose your home state for the White House (by a sizable margin) and go back to your old job knowing those same people gave it back to you - but not by as much as they did before.

Kelley Albrecht conceded Robin Vos his old job. Vossy had to work for it even with his redrawn map and we are grateful for her effort. She quite literally had no chance of winning - Vos made sure of that in his secret map meetings over at the office of Michael Best - but Albrecht gave people a choice and 42% of them took it.

Melissa Lemke handed the newly drawn 62nd assembly district over to Tom Weatherston. In a district that was drawn to be nearly 60% Republican, Lemke took home 47% of the vote. She outworked Weatherston and proved that some of those Republicans would vote for a Democrat who was willing to work hard and knock doors.

(We apologize in advance to those same people who will be lucky to even get a glimpse of Weatherston over the next two years - when you fund your own campaign the feeling of public obligation dwindles a bit - just ask Ron Johnson.)

Peter Barca and Cory Mason will keep the cities of Racine and Kenosha solidly blue - no one even tried to run against them.

Lastly, Bob Wirch crushed Pam Stevens 70% to 30% for State Senate - proving that running someone of color isn't the only thing it takes to win voters in the city - duh! So now that Stevens has some extra time on her hands - we suggest she go back and study some civil rights history and stop selling her "republicans are the real civil rights heroes" bullshit and please pay your taxes.

That shit doesn't fly in Racine.

It was a big night for same-sex marriage and for marijuana - two things the Siren is in favor of. Perhaps the GOP will finally discover that you can't win without women, minorities and the gays and stop acting like they can.

So, kiss it Reince. My President is black and my Senator is gay and we are totally okay with that.