Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Play State Of The State Bingo!


Get out your bingo chips, kids, it's State of the State time!

Tonight, Governor Scott Walker will deliver his annual address to the people of Wisconsin and completely gloss over the fact that Wisconsin, under his leadership, is totally sucking ass.

How will he do it?

By claiming he brilliantly steered the Dairy Land through the quagmire of Mordor to a budget surplus. Yay!

He won't mention that nearly every other state realized a budget surplus in 2013 too - mainly due to an uptick in the economy that has NOTHING to do with Scott Walker. Details you don't need to understand, kids.

Walker will announce a tax cut - red meat for the teabillies - designed to lower property taxes by less than $9.00 a month for a house valued at $151,000. Wow.

Since Walker is leading the nation in policies that adversely affect the poor - not expanding Medicaid, slashing the earned income tax credit and the homestead tax credit - he will announce a reduction in the lowest income tax bracket - people earning up to $10,910 a year. (Residents who earn $11,000 a year - and are apparently swimming in cash - will see no income tax help AND are getting booted from Badgercare.)

Walker and fellow Republicans up for reelection in November will be able to truthfully say they lowered taxes. They will not be able to say they balanced the budget. Indeed, this holiday has been put on the state credit card which will come due in 2015 - at least a billion dollars worth.

Even a few teabillies not distracted by the Common Core, Benghazi baloney are pausing to do the math.

Walker is proving to be the delinquent, divorced dad, campaigning for his kids affection. He's late on child support and heath insurance payments and never shows up for school conferences. When he does decide to play dad, instead of feeding the kids a sensible, well-balanced dinner - he takes them to Dairy Queen.

Oh, he fed them alright. He has no idea why they are hungry and sick the next day. None at all.

No matter what bullshit Walker spins in his State of the State address - this is what you need to know:

Wisconsin is 37th in the nation for job creation. 
45th in the nation for prospective job growth. 
48th in the nation for new business start-ups.

Now let's have some ice cream and play bingo!