Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Wisconsin Candidate Open Swim



Everybody is jumping in and out of the pool this week - the candidate pool that is...

Creeper Brett Hulsey has announced he is running for Governor of Wisconsin. Just in case you were wondering what party affiliation he might be assuming - he's going to run as a Democrat. (Hulsey famously floated the idea of going independent last year.)

After his strange incident with a staff member and a box cutter and then the weird disorderly conduct charge for flipping a kid (he didn't know) on a raft at the beach, his baloney purchase of a old Volkswagen used as a campaign expense and just all-around bizarre nature, Madison Democrats responded to the news of Hulsey's campaign: "He raised $125.00 last year, of course he's running for Governor."

The good news is since his district is solidly blue, a less eccentric candidate can replace him in the Assembly. Maybe even one other Democrats actually like.

Speaking of eccentric, "Segway" Jeremy Ryan announced he is running as a Republican against Paul Ryan. His angle? Confusing voters with his last name - 2 Ryans on the ballot, get it?

Described as "a veteran mythomaniac douchenozzle asshat who is insufferable to work with or alongside" by one commenter at Talking Points Memo. The Siren isn't in favor of fake candidates running under party affiliations they do not really endorse - however, in this case we'll make an exception. The GOP can have BOTH Ryans.

Locally, Libertarian landlord, George Meyers, will be running against Assembly Rep.Cory Mason. Meyers ran against Bob Turner several times in that district in its previous redistricting incarnation - as an independent. Since the seat is pretty safe, it's hard to imagine Meyers will have more luck against Mason than he did against Turner.

Burlington resident and teacher, Andy Mitchell has filed to run against Robin Vos in the 63rd Assembly district. Vos carved out for himself a district he can win in perpetuity (or until a new redistricting process in 2020) so it is assuredly a losing proposition for any Democrat running against him. We give Mitchell credit for taking the challenge and hope he has a ton of fun pushing Vos around from the left while his even crazier challenger from the right gives him a very hard time.

Vos has had too many unopposed elections - he deserves to work a little.

Another Democratically unwinnable seat is the Senate post John Lehman is vacating to run for Lt. Governor. The 21st senate District was actually redrawn to be one of the most Republican in the state and with Van Wanggaard's house sitting literally yards from the border while excluding nearly all of the city of Racine - there is little doubt the 21st district was drawn especially for him.

Too bad it also included challenger, Jon Steitz's house too. The two Republicans are embroiled in a Racine/Kenosha Tea Party civil war which pits two different Republican "dark money" pockets against each other.

Local Ironworker, Randy Bryce, has filed as a Democrat to run against the warring Republicans. As a guy who hangs off of bridges and skyscrapers for a living - we don't imagine Steitz or Wanggaard intimidate him much. Bryce has got plenty of ammunition already provided by each camp to use against both guys and an easy summer with a front row to the mutual pummeling.

Last, of course, is Racine County GOP chairman, Bill Folk who is running for State Secretary against Doug La Follette. Folk has a few other primary candidates, but holds the distinction of being the only candidate whose platform includes doing away with the GAB and returning it to the corrupt, political sham it used to be.

Seriously, even Republicans who get frustrated by not being able to control EVERY branch of Wisconsin government in the state are in no hurry to return to the days of politically appointed election boards - that door swings both ways you know. No one stays in the majority forever.

With something like 20 Assembly seats changing up and another 5 Senate seats also evolving - it is not too late to jump in the campaign pool. Candidates have until the beginning of June to file.